In a survey I asked several people “what is the number one quality you look for in a prospective spouse?” Honesty and trust were the top two answers. Committed and hardworking weren't far behind. Family oriented was also high on the list as well as a good sense of humor.

Do any of these qualities describe you? Hopefully these qualities made it on your self-analysis list because all of these are needed to build a lasting relationship. If we look at the topic of trust and honesty, we know that these two qualities go hand in hand. Trust and honesty always top the relationship list because they are key ingredients in any relationship.

Trust and honesty is a two way street. Sometimes we forget that it goes both ways. Are you demanding something that you aren't living up to or willing to give?

Women will often complain that “he” wasn't honest about where he was going or what he was doing. Men will complain that “she” spends too much money. The two of you are trying to save or budget for a wedding and two hundred dollars was spent on a purse. A purse that she “claimed” only cost twenty dollars (on sale). These are the things that undermine a relationship before you ever get to the “I Do”.

Honesty and trust come down to letting your yes mean yes and your no, no. If people would practice this many relationship issues wouldn't exist. Dishonesty can cause a relationship to die a painful death.

Are you aware of the red flags of dishonesty? If you repeatedly find yourself saying, “I know you told me this or I know you to me that, or you told me you didn't go there”, and they are always saying, “I never said that”. Look out!! You’re dealing with a liar. You really are.

I’m not talking about the one time miscommunication; I’m talking about a conversation very similar to the above paragraph that happens weekly or monthly. If this sounds all too familiar, you are dealing with a habitual liar. Truth and honesty might be at the top of your list, but it’s not on their list. Move on from this type of person; do not make excuses for them. They are showing you who they really are. Trust your instinct!!

All too often we know what we are getting into before we say “I Do”. It’s like the parable about the old lady who was walking in the snow. She looks down on the ground and sees a snake that is almost frozen to death. She feels sorry for the snake so she picks it up and takes it home with her. She puts it by a warm fire and cares for it. After the snake recovers she attempts to pick it up and it bites her. The woman begins to cry and she says to the snake, “how could you bite me? I brought you into my home, I took care of you?” The snake looks at her and says, “what do you mean, how could I bite you? Lady, you knew I was a snake when you took me in.”

Don’t be that person!! Don’t ignore the signs!! Trust your instincts!!

Let me be clear, I’m going to say it again. Honesty and trust are a two way street. The person lying about how much they spent on something isn't any different than that person saying he’s working late, when really he’s going to hang out at the bar with the guys and watch the game. A lie is a lie, so if you are looking for honesty and trust, make sure you are giving it in return.